The only real advice I can have you think consider is this:
The questions you need to answer yourself are:
Are you comfortable with this being a part of who you are?
If you are not at a good mental peaceful state of mind with this expecting someone else to be is not a good start.
Are you willing to let her get on this list or an SO list so she can have others to talk to? Some women immediately need to know they are not alone and since they cannot share this with their real time friends, online ones are the next best thing.
Is sharing this going to further your relations with her?
If you are telling her just so you will clear your guilty conscious that may not be the best motivation. Tell her because you love and trust her enough and feel that you want to go to that next level of intimacy and trust with her.
Is her reactions to different people and situations usually positive?
Knowing her feelings about other fringe communities might not be a bad idea before sharing.
What are the gains by this person knowing?
What are the minuses by this person knowing?
Will they use discretion with this information?
if you tell her and expect her not to be able to share this and bounce her feelings off someone other than you, then all you are doing is bringing one other person into that closet with you.
Can you handle it if they totally reject your femme self?
Every woman has a million different things that shape her outlook, her self confidence, and her perception of the world. No two women will ever feel the same.
I think if you do decide to share this with her, showing this in as positive a light as possible is going to be the way to go.
Give her space once you have told her. Don’t rush her to see you dressed or see or bombard her with probing questions. Let her absorb this info in her own time. She might start off with a hundred questions or decide she needs to go home and think about everything.
Either way let her hold the wheel in ‘what next’. Some women decide right then and there they want to know everything, some need a few days to let it all sink in. Also, keep in mind most hetrosexual females have no clue what a crossdressser is at all.
This is like walking into another country and not knowing the language. Give her some basics, but keep it simple and only divulge what relates to ‘you’ at first. No need to talk about what others do, just what you do and where you are.
if you can think of anything else that you are concerned about we are all here to help.
